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28 April 2006 @ 08:59 pm
Surprising Conversation  
“Do you like it?” I ask nervously.

Padma looks around the hotel lobby before grinning at me. “It’s brilliant! Very grand,” she says, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.

I let out a sigh of relief. We’ve both been so busy lately I wanted an opportunity to take Padma away from everything, even if it was only for a night. So, without telling her, I bought tickets to a muggle play in Wales my mum saw recently and booked us in a hotel. I’ve been so nervous about Padma’s reaction I haven’t been able to eat all day. Lisa tried to assure me that everything would be fine, but I had to know for myself.

“Anthony,” Padma speaks up cautiously, “I do have to be somewhere tomorrow. I don’t know exactly what you have planned…”

“Just a play tonight,” I assure her. “I booked the hotel room so we wouldn’t have to rush back if things got late.”

“Its fine,” she replies, “I just had to make sure you knew.”

I take Padma to the lift and to our room on the sixth floor. Pulling the key out of my pocket, I open the door and usher Padma inside. She stops three feet inside the room, staring at the other issue I’d been worrying about.

“I, uh, got two beds,” I begin, “I didn’t want you to think I was being presumptuous.”

“Its fine, Anthony, really.”

“Then why do you look so dazed?” I question.

“Its just, I mean, we’ve never talked about,” her voice trails off slightly before she shakes her head and stands a little straighter, “sex,” she finishes firmly.

I can feel my cheeks flush and I pray Padma doesn’t actually want to talk about this now.

“Its just that we’ve never, and I wouldn’t feel right if you didn’t know I have… with Diego.”

I turn my back to Padma and take a deep breath. There’s always been a reason I never wanted to have this conversation…

“I understand if you need some time to think about things,” Padma speaks up sullenly. “I’m sorry, I thought you already knew. I should have told you sooner. I’ll just go.”

Turning back around I quickly stop her from leaving. “That’s not it. I’d assumed as much.” I pause and look out the window. “It sickens me that he treated you so poorly, but I don’t think any less of you. That’d make me a bit hypocritical, actually.”

“So you—”

“And Lisa,” I cut her off, my attention still on the window.

“At Hogwarts,” Padma adds as if she’s asking for confirmation.

I grimace, knowing that if I’m going to be completely honest I have to tell her everything. “And once after.”

“When?” Padma asks sharply.

“About two years ago,” I admit. “We had been drinking, I was upset about a fight I had with my mum… It shouldn’t have happened, it was a mistake.”

“Is that why you got so upset at Dean’s birthday? You were afraid I would lose control like you did?”

“Yes,” I admit quietly. “Dean lives right across the hall. It would have been simple for you to go to him or for him to come to you.”

“I can’t believe you don’t trust me!” she explodes. “I’m with you, aren’t I?”

“I’m sorry,” I sigh.

I hear the mattress squeak as Padma takes a seat on one of the beds. “I’m going to Dean’s parents’ house tomorrow,” she says quietly. “It’s for the research I told you I was helping him with. I thought you should know.”

“Are you trying to upset me?” I snap, finally turning around to face her.

“Why are you so jealous? I least I’ve never slept with Dean!”

I run my hands through my hair before taking a seat next to Padma on the bed. “Look, I’m sorry. But I can’t help how paranoid I feel that you’re going to come out of the blue and dump me again.”

“I made a mistake because I thought I knew what was best for my future,” she sighs.

“And I made a mistake because I was desperate to get you back.” Silence fills the room between us. A few minutes later I finally speak up again. “Lisa’s seeing some new bloke right now. His name is Thomas or something. I think he’s a prat, but Lisa never seems to have good taste in wizards.”

“Well, she was interested in you,” Padma retorts.

I look over and see the corners of her mouth twitching into a smile. I feel a weight shift off my chest. “Do you still want to go to the play?”

“Of course,” she smiles.

“I’m going to go pick up some food and let you get ready,” I say, standing up from the bed. I leave the room and head down to the hotel lobby. I think Padma and I will come through this just fine. If we can get past our past, nothing should stand in our way.
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